On self-love, eating disorders and hunting for 53
8 years ago, I was in this same place, on Koh Phangan.
Back then, 53 was a hyper important number to me. 53.* kg was my absolute max weight - at 181cm. I would weigh myself every day, restricting my diet even more when the bewitched 54 would be “too close”.
8 years later, after having met amazing people, found my yoga practicing and so much more, I probably weigh 10 kg more. Who knows, I haven’t been on a scale in three years I guess. I decide to stay away from numbers - they distract my feeling of my body.
I have never felt better in my life. I would like for my body to change a little, but I am already incredibly grateful and in awe to have such a healthy, strong, soft and loving body. I can, for the first time in my life, honestly say that I love and appreciate this body and soul. I feel worthy of love - independent of the looks of my shell (98.5% of the time ;)).
Thank you everyone. You have been part of my path - and I hope we will continue together. And Koh Phangan, special thanks for all the treats and healing you’ve facilitated.
Time to feel more. <3